Family: It’s What’s for Dinner

Tool of the Parenting Trade

Watch the following video and reflect on your own family. Are there
aspects to these families that are similar in your own home?

When was the last time that you really sat down and talked with your
spouse and children? Sometimes the day to day grind makes family life
seem mundane and overwhelming. With all of the running kids to soccer,
dance, art, then balancing grocery shopping, house chores, and the other
responsibilities, it can be hard to take time to really sit down and get to
know your family on a personal level. “Meal times promote family cohesion by
bringing parents and children closer together and are characterized by fun,
conversation, and enjoyment” (Jarrett, 2014).

So, how can family meal time impact my family? You might be asking yourself, “ How can something as simple as eating with my family really make a difference in our relationship?” The results are surprising! “ In a study by Fulkerson, Story, Neumark-Sztainer, and Rydell (2008), with a sample of college-educated, primarily White parents of 8 to 10 year olds, 64.5% of parents cited meal time conversations as the most enjoyable aspect of family meal time.Moreover, 74.8% of parents said meal time conversations were positive because they provided opportunities to talk about the day, whereas 11.2% said that meal times provided an opportunity to connect and increase the sense of being a family (Jarrett, 2014).

Family meal time really does make a difference. It’s the little things that we do as a family that can have a long-lasting impact on our relationship.

“In [a] study of economically and racially-ethnically diverse parents of
toddlers, [it was] found that meal times enhanced family unity by helping
members to become closer and to build trust. They also allowed parents to
monitor their children’s lives” (Jarrett, 2014).

Without joining together as a family for meals, meaningful conversation and connection can be hard to come by with busy schedules. The table I (Micah) grew up around was often full of laughs, teasing, and sometimes great lessons. Even after leaving home, my siblings and I still enjoy all being back at that same meal-time table and we usually reminisce on past dinner conversations or happenings. There were times my mom would say the most humorous things, because being a mom is exhausting…. Or there was a time when my oldest brother taught me how to properly drink water. For a while, I drove him crazy with how loud I gulped my beverages at the dinner table. He had been so frustrated with it, but one night he gently walked me through the steps of how to drink water without it being a conversation stopping event.  At the Larsen table, you never really knew what you were going to get when you sat down.

Now that I am married I am creating my own set of family meal time traditions with my husband and children. Watch the following part-candid video to join us!

As you can see, it can be hard to focus or get things done as a parent, especially while trying to enjoy a meal together, but it is worth it!

There are so many reasons why joint meal time is beneficial to the relationships we have within our homes. Many times the most rewarding things in life do not come easily or without planning.

Growing up, life was hectic for my (Lacey) family. My two older brothers played football and basketball, and then once I got older I ran track, cross country, and was on the student council at my high school. It seemed like we were always coming and going, and that there were always evening activities that could take us away from family time. Despite the busy schedule, I really admired that my mom made it a priority to have meal times together. It was rare that my family didn’t have breakfast together before the start of the day. Family dinner didn’t happen every night, but it was more frequent for us to be together for dinner than not. While the conversations weren’t always deep, and sometimes the garlic bread or toast was burned, my parents taught me that it is important to be together. The time spent together enjoying a meal brought my family closer and helped us to know about each other’s lives. We were able to know each other better because of our meal time conversations, even though they were simple. It was a time that kept us connected, and the benefits that it had on our family were far reaching.

Time can easily escape us. Here is a challenge: choose one meal this week that you are going to have everyone be together for...even if you already do it, make it even more special. Maybe you need to put down the technology, maybe you need to include kids in meal prep, find a new way to connect and express your love!

It was found that most adolescents thought of family meal time as important and many enjoy and look forward to it, but they don’t try to schedule around it (Eto, 2011).

As children get older, the frequency and duration of family meal time is threatened. Make it a priority in your family. Ask your children for suggestions on how to make it work with their schedules; don’t be afraid to include friends that may be over during a meal time.

Points to implement from the video:

• Make joint meal/snack time work within your busy schedule
• Talk about family history
• Include siblings in meal prep tasks
• No electronic devices during meal times
• Parents, take time to listen a little more and talk a little less

Time spent with family can’t be replaced. Family meals can be a time for re-connection with family members after a hard day. The time spent together during meals allows for families to bond, and the consistency gives children structure that helps them build relationships with their parents and siblings. “Studies with children and adolescents have shown that eating regular family meals is associated with more healthful food and nutrient intakes, more positive dietary attitudes, and fewer unhealthful weight control behaviors in young adulthood. It is also positively associated with self-esteem and negatively associated with symptoms of depression, unhealthful dietary behaviors, and high-risk behaviors, such as illicit drug use.” (Eto, 2011).  The benefits are clear, yet there is a problem of decreased frequency in family meal time as children get older and are involved in more activities.  When we make joint meal time a priority, we are making a bigger impact on our family than we realize. It can be difficult to make family meals a priority, but it is possible! When it comes to coordinating meal times, get creative and don’t worry about the time restrictions. It can happen in a short amount of time if that’s what your family needs. Make an effort by finding open time each day, even if the time fluctuates based on your family’s busy schedule.

Here are some dinner time conversation starters:

http://ourthreepeas.com/101-fun-questions-ask-kids-dinner-time/

It can be awkward at first, but conversation will soon flow!

Questions to ponder/respond to:

What do you do to make your meal time, quality time?

What are some of the challenges that you personally face with having your family together for meals? What ideas do you have for how to overcome those challenges?

Share with us a family meal time memory!!!

*PLEASE fill out a short survey about the learning experience:

https://goo.gl/forms/jnWlhvPh6hoiSVEC2

Disclaimer: The authors of this online curriculum are not therapists, and are not authorized to give personalized advice to any of the readers. The content of this lesson plan is the creation of the authors alone and does not represent any other entity or organization.

References

Byrd-Bredbenner, C., Martin-Biggers, J., Povis, G. A., Worobey, J., Hongu, N., & Quick, V. (2018). Promoting healthy

home environments and lifestyles in families with preschool children: HomeStyles, a randomized controlled trial. Contemporary Clinical Trials, 64, 139-151.
doi:10.1016/j.cct.2017.10.012

Eto, K., Koch, P., Contento, I. R., & Adachi, M. (2011). Variables of the Theory of Planned Behavior Are Associated

with Family Meal Frequency among Adolescents. Journal Of Nutrition Education & Behavior, 43(6), 525-530.

Jarrett, R. L., Bahar, O. S., & Kersh, R. T. (2014). “When We Do Sit Down Together”. Journal of

Family Issues, 37(11), 1483-1513. doi:10.1177/0192513x14547417

https://www.needscenter.org/2013/12/04/mealtime-is-family-time-english/